I'm tired. Not in a good way; in a kinda depressed sickish way. I think I just did too much a couple weeks ago. Now I kinda don't wanna do anything. I'm still walking, but not every day (I had been walking 2 miles a day). It's harder to keep on my allergen-free diet. Meh. I just need to be really careful not to overdo things still, apparently. I wonder if that will be true my whole life; if I'll always always always be prone to depressions.
Things that would help:
-walking every day
-getting moving-to-Charlotte plans in place
-not eating things that are bad for me
-hanging out with grown-ups (who don't bite me)
-getting a computer (I feel so darn cut off!)
-getting the things of mom's that are still in my corner appraised, photographed, and otherwise taken care of
I'm kinda working on these things... but see above sentiments about being tired and unmotivated and et cetera.
Blah.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
I so appreciate it when people remember me on Mother's Day. Thank you, you people who know who you are.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Allergies and Estates and Charlotte
The Florida vacation was great. My family rocks. While I was there, though, I pretty much paid no attention to the foods I'm allergic to. As in, I ate them. A lot of wheat and, while not lots, more sugar than I'm used to. Some dairy. The day after I got home I had a dance class (I'm taking clogging) and my ability to focus and concentrate and even just think was frighteningly bad. One more reason (aside from better sleep, less congestion, fewer illnesses, and improved energy) I need to be very mindful of what i'm putting into my body! If any of you see me eating something I shouldn't, please ask me if I'm being mindful of what I'm eating.
We had a humongous yard sale of Mom's stuff yesterday. For about 12 hours (ending at midnight) on Friday we priced things and then loaded up a 14 foot UHaul truck. Then got up at 5am on Saturday to get stuff set up by 7. Seven to 2pm was the sale, and then we had to pack up everything left. Made one run to Salvation Army to donate the leftovers, dropped off the UHaul, and filled my brother's van with boxes that we are keeping. Today (Sunday) there are 3 or maybe 4 more vanloads to go to Salvation Army. Thursday I'm back in town to get the furniture to a consignment store and collect one small load of boxes we are keeping. So... I'm tired. Its good to be getting rid of all this stuff we've had stored in a relative's basement for 6 months now. Its kind of nice to be moving on from Mom being materially here; its good to settle further into her living totally in the spiritual reality now. But its also a little sad to take steps further away from her being in this world with us. I got a little teary a couple of times at the yardsale as items that I had strong memory associations to were sold. But we've kept everything important to us and the rest we just don't need any more.
So. Exhausted but getting lots done.
Also thinking of moving back to Charlotte. I'd like to be able to do more with my niece and nephew; spend-the-nights, maybe a regular time each week to hang out with each of them. Charlotte also has a bigger population, with generally more money. Career-wise, in terms of working with autistic kids, that can be a good thing. The only advantage Asheville has over Charlotte there is that Asheville residents tend to be more alternative so might be more open to alternative methods of working with autism. But I can commute to Asheville, too, if that's the only place I can find clients. I would miss the beauty of the mountains, but again, thats not a long drive. I think my biggest yearning for Charlotte (vying with being more involved with family) comes from wanting to be part of a thriving, spirited Baha'i community. I think I want time to rest and heal in the spiritual environment of a community like Charlotte. In Asheville I've bene thinking of starting a Children's Class and a Devotional Gathering, but I just don't feel like the support is there and I'm too tired (in the deep down sense, not in the taking-a-nap sense) to pull anything off entirely on my own. II i'm in Charlotte I get to relax some in my personal life (lots of support from Baha'is, family, and friends) while I work on my business life. I think that if I choose a kind of self-contained neighborhood or live in a smaller suburb of Charlotte I will be OK with living in The Big City. Not forever, I don't think, but for a time. I'm still a small town mountains girl at heart, I believe.
I'm enjoying being a bigger aprt of my niece and nephew's life, and there's another niece due at the end of the month. I want to be a mother, but I don't know if that will happen. So to have a hand in raising my niece and nephew (no, not like another parent, but still, teaching skills and values and et cetera) is, I think, fulfilling that kind of need in my life to pass things on to another generation. My sister-in-law and I talk quite a bit about parenting and discipline and such, and we have very very similar ideas, so its nice for be to be able to help out. It's fun for me to be with the kids, and fun for their parents to get a break!
So maybe Charlotte. Dunno. Need to pray on that one and research the autism program market in Charlotte.
I think that's all for now.
I hope to have a new computer and be able to post more regularly again in the next few weeks!
We had a humongous yard sale of Mom's stuff yesterday. For about 12 hours (ending at midnight) on Friday we priced things and then loaded up a 14 foot UHaul truck. Then got up at 5am on Saturday to get stuff set up by 7. Seven to 2pm was the sale, and then we had to pack up everything left. Made one run to Salvation Army to donate the leftovers, dropped off the UHaul, and filled my brother's van with boxes that we are keeping. Today (Sunday) there are 3 or maybe 4 more vanloads to go to Salvation Army. Thursday I'm back in town to get the furniture to a consignment store and collect one small load of boxes we are keeping. So... I'm tired. Its good to be getting rid of all this stuff we've had stored in a relative's basement for 6 months now. Its kind of nice to be moving on from Mom being materially here; its good to settle further into her living totally in the spiritual reality now. But its also a little sad to take steps further away from her being in this world with us. I got a little teary a couple of times at the yardsale as items that I had strong memory associations to were sold. But we've kept everything important to us and the rest we just don't need any more.
So. Exhausted but getting lots done.
Also thinking of moving back to Charlotte. I'd like to be able to do more with my niece and nephew; spend-the-nights, maybe a regular time each week to hang out with each of them. Charlotte also has a bigger population, with generally more money. Career-wise, in terms of working with autistic kids, that can be a good thing. The only advantage Asheville has over Charlotte there is that Asheville residents tend to be more alternative so might be more open to alternative methods of working with autism. But I can commute to Asheville, too, if that's the only place I can find clients. I would miss the beauty of the mountains, but again, thats not a long drive. I think my biggest yearning for Charlotte (vying with being more involved with family) comes from wanting to be part of a thriving, spirited Baha'i community. I think I want time to rest and heal in the spiritual environment of a community like Charlotte. In Asheville I've bene thinking of starting a Children's Class and a Devotional Gathering, but I just don't feel like the support is there and I'm too tired (in the deep down sense, not in the taking-a-nap sense) to pull anything off entirely on my own. II i'm in Charlotte I get to relax some in my personal life (lots of support from Baha'is, family, and friends) while I work on my business life. I think that if I choose a kind of self-contained neighborhood or live in a smaller suburb of Charlotte I will be OK with living in The Big City. Not forever, I don't think, but for a time. I'm still a small town mountains girl at heart, I believe.
I'm enjoying being a bigger aprt of my niece and nephew's life, and there's another niece due at the end of the month. I want to be a mother, but I don't know if that will happen. So to have a hand in raising my niece and nephew (no, not like another parent, but still, teaching skills and values and et cetera) is, I think, fulfilling that kind of need in my life to pass things on to another generation. My sister-in-law and I talk quite a bit about parenting and discipline and such, and we have very very similar ideas, so its nice for be to be able to help out. It's fun for me to be with the kids, and fun for their parents to get a break!
So maybe Charlotte. Dunno. Need to pray on that one and research the autism program market in Charlotte.
I think that's all for now.
I hope to have a new computer and be able to post more regularly again in the next few weeks!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Business
Not business as in work, but business as in being busy. Gosh English is a confusing language sometimes.
Anyway, yeah, I'm busy. Spending weekends in Charlotte trying to get stuff down, celebrate some birthdays, eat some breakfasts. A week in Florida soon, as mentioned in an earlier post ("Vacation"). Working longer hours this week as it's spring break here and my client is out of school. Heading up the finishing phases of getting Mom's material stuff taken care of. Plus just the normal daily livingness of prayers and deepening, regular therapy and acupuncture appointments, laundry, cat litter cleaning (Aziza has started using the bathroom sink on occassion, so I need to get another litter box so they can each have their own. The vet thinks the most likely cause is that Aziza has gotten picky about sharing. Can't say I blame her.), going to the landromat... oh, taxes is kinda a fuss... I dunno. Even working part time I'm pretty overwhelmed right about now (funk soul brother... I can't hear [or apparently type] the phrase "right about now" without getting that song stuck in my head). Oh, and dance. And 100 pushups/200 situps (exercise programs I'm doing. See www.hundredpushups.com). And I'm trying to take a walk everyday. Its all stuff thats good for me and I enjoy. There's just a lot of it. Cooking. OK , anyway. That was my update for now, lol.
Anyway, yeah, I'm busy. Spending weekends in Charlotte trying to get stuff down, celebrate some birthdays, eat some breakfasts. A week in Florida soon, as mentioned in an earlier post ("Vacation"). Working longer hours this week as it's spring break here and my client is out of school. Heading up the finishing phases of getting Mom's material stuff taken care of. Plus just the normal daily livingness of prayers and deepening, regular therapy and acupuncture appointments, laundry, cat litter cleaning (Aziza has started using the bathroom sink on occassion, so I need to get another litter box so they can each have their own. The vet thinks the most likely cause is that Aziza has gotten picky about sharing. Can't say I blame her.), going to the landromat... oh, taxes is kinda a fuss... I dunno. Even working part time I'm pretty overwhelmed right about now (funk soul brother... I can't hear [or apparently type] the phrase "right about now" without getting that song stuck in my head). Oh, and dance. And 100 pushups/200 situps (exercise programs I'm doing. See www.hundredpushups.com). And I'm trying to take a walk everyday. Its all stuff thats good for me and I enjoy. There's just a lot of it. Cooking. OK , anyway. That was my update for now, lol.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Pissed (in American English, not British English)
As in I'm angry(the American definition of pissed), not as in I'm drunk (The British definition of pissed).
I opene up to someone and told a story about myself that was difficult... and the person didn't believe me! In fact, the person chose to end the relationship. I've never had this happen before, and I'm really angry.
That's... all I have to say about that I guess. Grr.
I opene up to someone and told a story about myself that was difficult... and the person didn't believe me! In fact, the person chose to end the relationship. I've never had this happen before, and I'm really angry.
That's... all I have to say about that I guess. Grr.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Snow Blossoms
My title sounds like a haiku should follow... but tough luck to all you haiku lovers.
It's snowing today (yes, your computer is right, I wrote this on April 7). Its not really sticking, but its still strange and slightly haunting to see trees in full bloom surrounded by swirling snowflakes. Apparently its not only weird, but bad for these trees. They get all bloomy and excited about spring, and then the freeze kills the blooms. But too bad trees, you only get one shot at blooming and leafing per year. So a lot of trees this coming year will have pretty low leaf counts, and the fruit harvests will be bad. The same is true for all plants unfortunate enough to be striving toward life when this late freeze came. Good thing I'm not a farmer (and sympathies to those around here who are).
I've realized that while I love my job, it can be better. The way my job is, I get to work with autistic kids. That's the thing I love to do, so its good. The not so good things are, I don't get much say in how and where and when I work with them. And I don't get to take part in planning their programs/plans/treatments. Its really hard for me to try to make a 4 year old sit still during group time at school when I don't believe she's even ready for school. Or to be in a position where there's nothing I can do to help a child with his aggression except try not to let him hurt me too badly. I am seriously considering the following plan: getting a part-time easy job (like an office drone kind of thing, where my emotions and brans won't be taxed much) and then sending a letter to the parents of autistic children I know in the area along with a DVD of a BBC documentary following the progress of a family who is using the Son-Rise program for their son. In the letter I will state that I am no longer with the Autism Society of North Carolina (if that's how they knew me; so there's no confusion about where I'm coming from, etc) and say that I am starting a private practice. I will say that I believe their child could benefit enormously and that I would love to work with them to set up a personalized program for their child. I will offer a free initial consultation. So yeah, that's what I'm getting very interested in doing. Eventually I would hope to use the office-drone kind of job as just a transition thing while I'm building the business (Hmm, it needs a name. Any ideas?), for maybe a year or so.
So that's my grandiose idea. And as you can tell from the word grandiose, I have doubts about my ability to do such a thing. Maybe the responsibility scares me; that families might be counting on me to work miracles when I know that the real miracles iof autism are more often in the day-to-day than the kinds that gets you on Oprah.
I'd love to hear what people think of this.
It's snowing today (yes, your computer is right, I wrote this on April 7). Its not really sticking, but its still strange and slightly haunting to see trees in full bloom surrounded by swirling snowflakes. Apparently its not only weird, but bad for these trees. They get all bloomy and excited about spring, and then the freeze kills the blooms. But too bad trees, you only get one shot at blooming and leafing per year. So a lot of trees this coming year will have pretty low leaf counts, and the fruit harvests will be bad. The same is true for all plants unfortunate enough to be striving toward life when this late freeze came. Good thing I'm not a farmer (and sympathies to those around here who are).
I've realized that while I love my job, it can be better. The way my job is, I get to work with autistic kids. That's the thing I love to do, so its good. The not so good things are, I don't get much say in how and where and when I work with them. And I don't get to take part in planning their programs/plans/treatments. Its really hard for me to try to make a 4 year old sit still during group time at school when I don't believe she's even ready for school. Or to be in a position where there's nothing I can do to help a child with his aggression except try not to let him hurt me too badly. I am seriously considering the following plan: getting a part-time easy job (like an office drone kind of thing, where my emotions and brans won't be taxed much) and then sending a letter to the parents of autistic children I know in the area along with a DVD of a BBC documentary following the progress of a family who is using the Son-Rise program for their son. In the letter I will state that I am no longer with the Autism Society of North Carolina (if that's how they knew me; so there's no confusion about where I'm coming from, etc) and say that I am starting a private practice. I will say that I believe their child could benefit enormously and that I would love to work with them to set up a personalized program for their child. I will offer a free initial consultation. So yeah, that's what I'm getting very interested in doing. Eventually I would hope to use the office-drone kind of job as just a transition thing while I'm building the business (Hmm, it needs a name. Any ideas?), for maybe a year or so.
So that's my grandiose idea. And as you can tell from the word grandiose, I have doubts about my ability to do such a thing. Maybe the responsibility scares me; that families might be counting on me to work miracles when I know that the real miracles iof autism are more often in the day-to-day than the kinds that gets you on Oprah.
I'd love to hear what people think of this.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Vacation!
Not much to say, ups and downs, life goes on...
And I am totally looking forward to a week on the beach in Florida with my grandmother, brother, sister in law, nephew, and niece. In no particular order.
And I am totally looking forward to a week on the beach in Florida with my grandmother, brother, sister in law, nephew, and niece. In no particular order.
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