Tuesday, August 28, 2012

My Shame

I'm taking an 8-week course about shame; about how it's based on fear and blame and disconnection and can be overcome with courage, compassion, and connection. It's based on Brene Brown's work, who I think is an amazing lady. 

In the first class there was talk about the importance of recognizing one's own shame triggers, so that in the moment of experiencing shame you can understand better what's going on and why you are reacting to things the way you are. In the interest of building the courage and connection parts of breaking shame, here are some of my recent/current shame triggers:

weight/body image
impulsive spending
food choices
exercise choices
outsourcing "my" work (ie, cleaning and cooking)
dental hygiene 

Interesting point: this post has been sitting open for about 10 minutes now, waiting for me to get the courage to press the "publish" button...

Thursday, August 2, 2012


I've decided I want some simple direction in my life. I tend to be a really fluid and laid back kind of person; there are a lot of things I like about that but sometimes it can manifest as me being uncommitted or unmotivated, which I'd like to change. So here is an idea I've come up with.

I took some time to look at what is really important to me in terms of my values and my wants. At first it was pretty overwhelming, but I came to realize that really it boils down to four main priority categories:

God (my religious and spiritual practice)
Family (both biological and not)
Health (my own mental and physical health), and
River Breeze Wellness (my health counseling business).

Every day I intend to do at least one thing to strengthen each of these categories. It doesn't have to be a big thing, but something that increases the health of the priority. For example, one day I might make sure I do a meditation in the morning (God), call my grandmother in Florida (family), go for a walk (health), and check in with my school's website to catch up on what other students are up to (River Breeze Wellness). Of course, some days my activities might be bigger, like giving a nutrition workshop to feed my River Breeze Wellness priority, or spending several hours with my nieces and nephew. And some days I might do several things in one or more of the priority areas.

I also plan to look at my daily activities in light of these priorities and ask myself some questions about them.
How does this thought/behavior/action effect my priorities?
Does this thought/behavior/action feed one of my priorities?
Does this thought/behavior/action negatively impact my priorities? If so, is it truly necessary? If not, drop it. If it is necessary, how can I change it to reflect my priorities?
If this thought/behavior/action seems to have a neutral effect on my priority areas, is it worth putting my energy into it?

I like how kind of simple and basic this feels; just keep four things in mind as I live my life. And yet, I think it could have some pretty profound impacts.