Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Super Powers and Kryptonite

This shame group thing is intense, man.

Tonight we touched on the idea that most shame in most people comes from either their super powers (their gifts and talents) or their kryptonite (their struggles or vulnerabilities).

I don't enjoy airing my vulnerabilities, but I don't find it overwhelming, either. Or at least, not for the most part; there are a few that make me nauseated to even think about talking about.

The thing that pretty universally shames me is naming my gifts. I find it unbearable to say "I am creative, I am intelligent, I am..." Wow, I had to stop there because even writing that first made me tear up and then brought me to absolute freeze when I attempted to add a third item.

In the group tonight, as a closing exercise, the therapist asked us each to speak out loud an affirmation about ourselves. I couldn't do it in front of the group but I said that I would say one out loud to myself once I was alone at home. Haven't done it yet.

What is so darn intolerable about admitting there is greatness in myself?