Get out of your own head and into someone else's whenever you can...
Something that's changed for me in the past five years since I was here last is, I'm largely housebound. This is mostly because I can't often drive, due to a combination of pain, brain fog, and medications. And where I live there is no public transport and nothing within even non-disabled people's walking distance.
Within the past 48 hours two people I love have left the house where we live to do things I would like to do: to support a friend and to see some friends I haven't seen in a very long time. Heck, just to get out. Both of the people actually were in situations where they would have benefitted from having someone with them.
But in neither case did anyone say "Hey, come along" or "I know it's weird cause maybe you'd like to come along, but I actually have to handle some business stuff on this trip," or anything. Just, "Well, I'm off to do a fun thing you might enjoy, see ya!"
I trimmed my own hair the other day. It's kinda hard cause I basically have a long mowawk; if I spiked it up it'd be a death hawk. So I sent a text to a few people saying like "Eep, trimmed my hair, not really sure how it came out but I guess it's at least done now." Two of those texted have seen me since then. A lot. They live in the same house as me. One has commented; said it looked pretty good. The other hasn't bothered yet.
Yes, I need to reach out. Reaching out is a thing. And when you're in any sort of relationship (a word which here means any sort of relationship, including siblings, housemates, friends, et cetera, not just the romantic relationships that have co-opted the word), reaching out has to be a two way street.
Once in a while you have to hit pause and think "Wow, River's usually up around 6am but the past couple of days when I left for work at 8, she's still been in bed. Maybe I should ask if she's ok, or at least let her know I noticed and care." The key words here are *let her know.*
You can be ruminating about being worried, or whether I'd enjoy a concert, or if I'd like to go out, or whatever, as much as you want but if you don't say or do something about it, it doesn't count in our relationship. Because for me, ITS NOT THERE.
So please. If you are in any sort of relationship, make sure you are regularly taking off whatever veils stop you from seeing past the tip of your own nose and try seeing the other person for a change. I'll be doing the same.
Something that's changed for me in the past five years since I was here last is, I'm largely housebound. This is mostly because I can't often drive, due to a combination of pain, brain fog, and medications. And where I live there is no public transport and nothing within even non-disabled people's walking distance.
Within the past 48 hours two people I love have left the house where we live to do things I would like to do: to support a friend and to see some friends I haven't seen in a very long time. Heck, just to get out. Both of the people actually were in situations where they would have benefitted from having someone with them.
But in neither case did anyone say "Hey, come along" or "I know it's weird cause maybe you'd like to come along, but I actually have to handle some business stuff on this trip," or anything. Just, "Well, I'm off to do a fun thing you might enjoy, see ya!"
I trimmed my own hair the other day. It's kinda hard cause I basically have a long mowawk; if I spiked it up it'd be a death hawk. So I sent a text to a few people saying like "Eep, trimmed my hair, not really sure how it came out but I guess it's at least done now." Two of those texted have seen me since then. A lot. They live in the same house as me. One has commented; said it looked pretty good. The other hasn't bothered yet.
Yes, I need to reach out. Reaching out is a thing. And when you're in any sort of relationship (a word which here means any sort of relationship, including siblings, housemates, friends, et cetera, not just the romantic relationships that have co-opted the word), reaching out has to be a two way street.
Once in a while you have to hit pause and think "Wow, River's usually up around 6am but the past couple of days when I left for work at 8, she's still been in bed. Maybe I should ask if she's ok, or at least let her know I noticed and care." The key words here are *let her know.*
You can be ruminating about being worried, or whether I'd enjoy a concert, or if I'd like to go out, or whatever, as much as you want but if you don't say or do something about it, it doesn't count in our relationship. Because for me, ITS NOT THERE.
So please. If you are in any sort of relationship, make sure you are regularly taking off whatever veils stop you from seeing past the tip of your own nose and try seeing the other person for a change. I'll be doing the same.
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