My vital meds, and there are a lot of them, come with side effects. I take meds to combat the side effects. Those meds have side effects. I dislike all of the side effects; not a single one is fun or something helpful for me like "weight loss."
So sometimes I get a little rebellious. I go off of some of the meds. Time and time again I am reminded: I am only functional as a chemical cyborg. I must have regular infusions of chemicals from outside of my body in order to exist in any meaningful way.
It's tempting to be like "hey isn't that what food is too" or something like that. But don't say that. It's not the same. Eating like everyone else on the planet from time immemorial, is not the same as being dependent on chemicals made in some factory that you are forced to pay obscene prices for (one of my most necessary prescriptions is $121 for a one month supply, after a patient's assistance discount). And by the way, these chemicals that make you human enough, they come with warning labels. They're going to cause you to be unable to drive, to think complex thoughts, to remember words and occasions, to digest normally.... If you take the wrong one at the wrong time, go directly to the ER. And if you miss taking one at the right time... you guessed it. ER.
So yeah. I'm a chemical cyborg. Some days I'm thankful for that. Most days, I just knock back my pills three times a day and don't think much of it.
And today, I resent it.
So sometimes I get a little rebellious. I go off of some of the meds. Time and time again I am reminded: I am only functional as a chemical cyborg. I must have regular infusions of chemicals from outside of my body in order to exist in any meaningful way.
It's tempting to be like "hey isn't that what food is too" or something like that. But don't say that. It's not the same. Eating like everyone else on the planet from time immemorial, is not the same as being dependent on chemicals made in some factory that you are forced to pay obscene prices for (one of my most necessary prescriptions is $121 for a one month supply, after a patient's assistance discount). And by the way, these chemicals that make you human enough, they come with warning labels. They're going to cause you to be unable to drive, to think complex thoughts, to remember words and occasions, to digest normally.... If you take the wrong one at the wrong time, go directly to the ER. And if you miss taking one at the right time... you guessed it. ER.
So yeah. I'm a chemical cyborg. Some days I'm thankful for that. Most days, I just knock back my pills three times a day and don't think much of it.
And today, I resent it.
No comments:
Post a Comment