Expansion and Consolidation

It's kind of a buzz phrase around me lately. You know those times when the Universe keeps lining up experiences that point you in one direction? It's been one of those weeks... one of those lives. But lately the signs are pointing to this idea of expansion and consolidation, in and out, inhale and exhale, eat and digest, learn and understand. 

Everything is pulsing constantly. Our bodies are, our cells are, the atoms of the screen you are reading this on all the way out to the universe as we know it... everything is creating this massive intergalactic rhythm, and no matter what you do, you are a part of it.

The key, to me, is remembering that life is a unified (albeit mind blastingly complex) heartbeat. And learning to listen: finding my own rhythm and being true to it; finding people and places and things and ideas that interlock with my rhythm in ways that are nurturing.

I suspect that sometimes rhythms develop a little hiccup. Like breathing sometimes does; an odd little space or an extra long inhale. But if you go with it, if you aren't rigid and controlling, rhythm is restored. If you are listening hard enough, I bet you find that after a hiccup your rhythm is changed, either subtly or not. A new rhythm to explore and find mates for.

Depression

The interesting thing about depression is that when I have it, i don't really care. I guess that's a common part of depression; losing motivation for things you used to love, not being interested in things. I just kinda sit back and wait for it to run it's course. I think I do that with most emotions, actually. "This too shall pass."
I kind of feel like maybe I should care that I don't care. In some part of my stomach I'm concerned about hurting people I care about by being depressed again.
But there's an old ratty flannel shirt kind of comfort to my depression. Like how in the first days of fall you get to wear your favorite hoodie again, and it's heavier than you are used to, but it's warm too. So warm that maybe heavy ain't so bad. At least til spring comes round again.

New Post

My friend told me to put up a new blog post, so I did.

Here are some funny comics. Click to read if they are too small for you.

And now, you should all go watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

Support Is There

Everything I need really is already there, all I have to do is reach out and take it.
I just had a phone call with someone I haven't spoken to in a long time... someone who played a really big and special role in my life. It kind of made me realize... everything I need is already there, if I just make a move toward it. This woman said that she thinks about me a lot, and encouraged me to contact her whenever I want to.

I often thought that she was someone I'd like to have back in my life somehow, and considered calling or emailing her. Then my silly head would step in and I would think maybe I'd be bothering her, or that once I was out of her primary sphere of influence she wouldn't be all that interested any more. But I made a tentative and very easily set up steps toward contacting her and I'm now so happy that we got to talk.

Lesson learned: the resources are there, and my gut knows it. All I need to do is reach out and grab what I need.

Counter Intuitive Growth

I realized something tonight for the first time. I mean, I've heard the theory but I think I just got it tonight.
I was realizing that even though I've been doing a lot more than usual the past few days, I feel like (given that I keep things reasonably balanced) I have energy to continue doing things. It seems counter intuitive to me that spending energy would create more energy, but it seems to be working. I've heard the concept before, mostly in regards to a fitness program giving you more energy. Apparently, it's true!
And then it occurred to me that the theory could be applied to a lot of things. Spending love creates more love, sharing happiness creates more happiness... Heh, it's just like a magic penny... (cue childhood memories montage).
I've heard this stated another way, too: "What you focus on, grows." I've seen that to be true in terms of thought processes, but it never occurred to me that it would have a more outward application.
So there ya go, my learning for the day.

Them Kidses

A few days ago I was out at an animal park kind of thing with my 3 year niece and she turned to me and said "Auntie Sonya, did I tell you today that I love you?" I said, "No, not today I don't think." And she said "Well, I love you so so soooo much, as much as all the animals we saw today!"
And this evening my 5 year old nephew asked me if I could come over in the morning sometimes instead of in the evening. When I asked him why he said "So we have more time to play together."
Awwwwww, I love them kidses.

Reviewing the Situation

(Anyone else got an "Oliver!" song stuck in their head now?)

*Hums a little...*
Anyway...
So I'm considering doing a year-long distance learning course. It's with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is all about health and healing through foods. If you know me at all, or have read this blog at all, you know that is something I've been very interested in the past few years.

Here are some of my reasons for considering this:
1. It's exciting material.
2. I'm pretty sure I am not the kind of person who can do just one thing (I suppose its the ADD in me!).
3. Part of the course is learning how to get clients for yourself... which I can apply to both nutritional counseling (which I would be certified to do at the end of the year) and the autism thing. Yeah, I could probably get a course on this somewhere else, but then that skips point #1 entirely.
4. They offer a lot of post-graduate support in regard to the business end of things (definitely a major weak point for me).
5. Although traditionally school and I don't get along, I think I could do one year of distance learning but definitely am not into pursuing a traditional nutrition degree.

So the net result would be:
I'd be actively doing something advance-ful in my life (you may have noted I've been a bit stuck);
I'd have specialities in two very current fields (autism and nutrition, and there's definitely a lot of cross-over there!);
I'd be educated on how to promote myself, get clients, and keep clients; and
I get to learn a lot of food/health things that are going to make a big positive difference in my personal life.

I have a "one-on-one career advising session" phone call set up with them next week, where basically I get to talk to one of their people and ask whatever questions I may have. I've already been able to check out some of their course materials and it looks cool.

What do you think overall? Also, what things do you recommend I ask about in my phone call?