New Assignments

First new assignment: where I live. This gorgeous place on the river has been so very perfect for my first year here, but it's time for me to move on. It's too expensive, too far from work, and too isolated from my friends and coworkers (most of which, ironically, is why it was so perfect for the beginning of my time here). I'm moving to a not-nearly-so-cool apartment in Great Barrington. It still has amazing views, just not involving the river. There's a cool spot of river that's nearby though. It's also about 20 minutes from work, versus a 40 minute drive from where I am now. It's very near town and a grocery store too. Its a one bedroom instead of a studio, and I am looking forward to having separate sleeping and living areas. It's also significantly cheaper than where I am now. Fritz will be my roommate at the new place, but we have it worked out so we have almost completely separate space: we will even have our own entrances.

Second new assignment: I am doing a minimum of 5 dialogues per week for 8 weeks. I just completed week 2. Its an amazing assignment! I sent an email to everyone I could think of who does dialogues. I am getting some from some pretty big-time mentors and teachers around Option, and it's been amazing. My beginning topic is always to be something around expressing emotion, but dialogues go to a lot of unexpected places. The teacher who assigned it to me said to think of it as a blast off: it takes a lot of energy to get out of the atmosphere (like 5 dialogues a week) but once you are there you only need to make course adjustments, you don't need a huge thrust again.

In unassigned news, my new way of eating is really good for me. I tried to eat a lovely chocolate cake the other day and.... I didn't like it. I was momentarily depressed, but then realized how wonderful it is. I still crave the feeling I used to get from eating things like chocolate cake, but I've created a new belief that melon is my treat. So I don't buy melon regularly; I treat it as an occasional special treat food. That's been working really well for me, though I will admit to a certain yearning in my salivary glands when I see a chocolate filled croissant.
I'm loving spring here: everything is all shiny and green and new. It inspires me to be shiny and green and new as well.

It's a really exciting time to be me!

Something

Something, something, something, but I don't know what, feels like its missing. When I'm productive and doing things I feel good. When I don't have something I'm working on, like on weekends when nothing is planned and no projects need doing, I don't feel good. I know, I have to relax and stuff to have energy or whatever. But I feel restless and unsatisfied. Like right now, I'm only posting to have something to do that has some kind of result. Some time soon I think I'm going to have to look at this.

Ridvan

Ridvan is a series of important Baha'i holy days. The most holy, actually. For me it went by pretty much unnoticed. I'm not able to take the days off work/training. There is no one here to celebrate it with. When I first got here I tried having celebrations and observances on my own, but that quickly lost its charm. Its interesting to see that I seem to rely on others to keep my religious fervor up. Living the life, in many ways, is something that's been missing from my life since I got here. In some ways I'm doing it: I strive to live according to the principles and laws of Baha'u'llah, I still teach and talk about the Faith. But I no longer observe holy days or Feasts and I have started to lose my dedicated times of prayer and reading the Writings. I intend to go back to reading the Writings morning and evening and observing the obligatory prayer, starting today. If anyone has writings about isolated believers, or keeping up individual faith, I'd love to read them. I will be looking for them myself as well.
Alla'u'abha.

May Day!

For a little while spring here smelled like spring... you know: grass, dirt, fresh things, maybe some nice clean rain. That lasted about a week. Then spring smelled like cow manure and burnt stuff. The farmers burn off the stumps and roots of last year's crop before they turn the soil. The homeowners rake their years and burn all the dead wintry debris.
Also, mayflies are a real creature that likes to swarm around anything living. And the mosquitoes are coming out to play.
And yesterday..... there were snow flurries! WTFBBQ!
I still love spring though.

health

I've done a lot of medical testing in the past few weeks, to try to figure out why I'm sick so much. I'm sick so much that I've already used up all my sick time for the year! Granted, that's not a whole lot of time, but still.
I did blood work labs, a very thorough physical, and allergy testing. It's fascinating how much the findings support the other methods of medical information I've been using (Traditional Chinese Medicine and a medical intuitive), but that's another post.
The lab results: I am anemic (that's low iron), have an Omega-3 deficiency, and a frighteningly severe Vitamin D deficiency. Those are all being addressed through taking supplements; its too big a deal to wait for a change in diet or something to be worked out and kick in. I also have a Urinary Tract Infection that it looks like has been around for a very long time... months and months. My symptoms are abnormal so I never picked up on it. Basically I just get weird lower abdominal pain at times, but I've had none of the discomfort during urination or anything like that. That's not being treated with antibiotics right now, though my doctor is thinking about trying sulfa drugs instead. The reason we aren't doing antibiotics is....
The allergy testing results. The biggest thing is I am completely over run with candida yeast. My recurring sinus infections, it seems, are not recurring sinus infections. They are yeast infections in my sinuses. I also probably get them in my lungs which is why I almost always have a mild cough. Basically anywhere there is a mucus membrane, I have at least a low-grade yeast infection. I thought my random skin itchiness was due to the different water here, or maybe a detergent or soap allergy. Nope. Yeasties again. So a large part of my brand new diet is avoiding foods that feed yeast. So that's all grains except rice, quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, and millet. Also all sugars, including natural ones for a while, except for one serving of fresh fruit per day. In unrelated-to-yeast allergies, there's nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, peppers, some squashes), all dairy except for butter and whey (that's milk from any animal, not just cows, that I'm intolerant to), soy in any form, peanuts, nitrates (those are found in almost all food preservatives and colorings so it pretty much rules out anything except fresh foods and home made items), chocolate, coffee, and any corn product, and gluten.
Here, let's make this easier: here is what I CAN eat:
-any fresh meat, but it's much better if it's antibiotic-free
-any vegetable except for nightshades and white potatoes, but only limited amounts of beans, winter squash, yams, and sweet potatoes
-rice, quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, or millet, but only one serving the size of my palm per day
-one serving of fresh fruit per day
-any nut except peanuts
So that's pretty much how I'm eating this past week and a half. Plus the 3 afore-mentioned supplements, a probiotic, a multivitamin, vitamin C, and a grapefruit seed extract pill (kills the candida). For those counting, thats 8 different kinds of pills and comes up to about 24 pills per day.
I've been struggling with feeling restricted and such, but yesterday I had some pretty cool revelations in a dialogue.
1. Things can be big without being hard. So, this is a big change, with a lot of adjustments, but it isn't difficult. It's a lot, but not hard.
2. Cravings are awesome! My body craves sugars and breads because it doesn't have enough of those chemicals. Which means those chemicals are working their way out of me and I am getting healthier!
3. I know empirically that this way of eating and taking care of myself is working. I already have way fewer headaches, sleep more deeply, and wake up feeling awake (instead of having a groggy hour or two every morning). So I know that I am taking the best care of myself that I can by taking such good care of myself.
I go back to the allergy doctor next Wednesday (April 23) and get re-tested for some things. The idea is that the diet will change over time; get less restrictive (like maybe I could have limited amounts of natural sugars again, or could do a rotation diet with some of the foods, or have them once in a while), so I am excited to see what the results will be this time. I don't expect a whole lot of change, to be honest, because there's been some cheating going on in the diet and a few times I've forgotten to take my pills in the mornings.
Eating takes more planning now. I can't just grab anything from anywhere. Once I get into the groove though, I think it's gonna get even better.
Oh, I also have pretty much every environmental allergy there is (dander, dust, mold, quite a few pollens, several household type chemicals), which can be controlled by... well... not being around those things.
Here's to health!

by the way

I got a haircut.

spot checks!

I made a major move in my training. Let me give some background first. There are three levels to this apprenticeship. First is Class B (B is for beginner). In class B you are generally in the playroom once to twice a week, increasing from 15 minutes to 1 or occasionally 1.5 hours. You are videotaped for 15 minutes of both of your times in the playroom, and have 2 feedback classes a week based on getting feedback on those tapes.
After about 6 months you move up to Class I (that's I for intermediate). Class I is in the room a minimum of twice a week, for a minimum of an hour. You will generally go into the room for up to 4 hours a week, in total. Class I is videotaped for 15 minutes of only one of their sessions and has just one feedback class per week, based on that video. For one other session in a week, Class I gets what is called spot checks. For a spot check a teacher or teacher trainee will observe you in the room in person (we have an observation room with a huge two-way mirror attached to every playroom that we observe through). Your observer gives you written feedback that includes the areas that you were most and least effective in, but there is no class or official discussion (of course you are always free to go to your spot checker and ask questions etc). Toward the end of Class I you begin to work to get four video tapes that are considered senior apprentice level. When you get four, you move up to Class A. That usually happens at around a year.
Next is Class A (for advanced) which is also known as Senior Apprentice. These people don't have feedback class any more; their feedback is all from spot checks. When the teachers decide you are ready, you begin to work on tapes again. You are video taped in the playroom at random, at least once a week. The teachers then watch the tapes and decide whether you are at the level of a certifiable Child Facilitator. You have to get four tapes in a row (that's four weeks in a row). Three of the four must be excellent and one can be fair. If your tape for a week isn't certifiable quality, you start over at tape number one. After your four tapes, you are back on spot checks. This time one of the two senior teachers (that's Kate and William) will spot check you at random once a week. When you get four certifiable spot checks in a row (again, that's four weeks in a row) its just a matter of waiting for them to tell you you are truly certified.
OK, so after all that, here's the very cool news: I just moved up to Class I!