Enough

The idea of "enough" has come up for me a few times lately; most notably in the documentary I Am and in the book The Outliers.

Both sources talk about the balance of having enough of something; I Am related it to material possessions and The Outliers is speaking to intelligence. There is a certain amount of any given thing that is ideal, and if you possess amounts beyond that there is either no significant difference, or their is a negative difference.

Take material possession, for example. It is definitely beneficial to have shelter, enough food, warmth, and a sustainable number of usable objects like dishes, somewhere comfortable to sleep, et cetera. But beyond "enough," we start possessing more than we need. That's when we run into trouble. When cells in our body takes more than they need, we call it "cancer." Sure the cancer is doing great, having a ball, multiplying... but the rest of the body is suffering. If we think of the globe as an organism, with all of the living things being connected, as in a body, we can see how this becomes an issue. Those of us with more than we need are taking resources from some of the rest of us. When native tribes saw this attribute in early white colonists, they considered it a mental illness. I see their point.

I suppose it might be difficult is to figure out exactly how much really is enough for you, or your family. I think this takes some pretty radical authenticity and flexibility and being nonjudgemental, and that the answer will be different for everyone. I don't think it's our right to judge other people's answers, although I think it's always ok to compassionately question.

In terms of intelligence, there is a point (exactly where that point is is debatable) when adding more IQ points just doesn't matter. At that point you are able to do whatever you want to do. Additional thinking is just a fun game, but so is Monopoly and it doesn't serve a whole lot of purpose either.

I suspect this concept of enough applies to all aspects of living. Maybe it's what is meant by "moderation in all things." I mean, if you eat more or less than enough you become unhealthy. If you work more or less than enough; unhealthy. Sleep more or less than enough; unhealthy. If you have too many friends or too few, your social self suffers.

I intend to spend time thinking about what "enough" means for me, in various aspects of my life, and then making plans on how to get there. I expect to find myself a lot happier for it.

UPDATE:
Someone just shared this with me via a private response, and I think it was pretty profound: "The cure for too many resources is to share with others.  Likewise, the cure for extra intellect and talents is to share them with others."

Being Nonjudgmental

I have had some pretty big self judgements around my fitness level. This weekend I went on a weekend-long hike with my brother and overcame a lot of these judgements.

One thing that helped was just being really conscious of my judgements and recognizing them, and then telling them I did not need them; that they weren't realistic or helpful. I reminded myself that where I am is perfect, and that I can have wants while still loving where I am.

Another thing that was incredibly helpful was my wonderful brother.

 

He is an amazing mountain climber with some great adventures under his belt. (Yep, this picture is really of him!)

I suspect that the parts of our weekend that I found extremely strenuous, he found a nice mild stretching exercise. If you were to compare our levels of fitness and experience... well, there just is no comparison (much like a NASA rocket and the nose of a hound dog). 

And yet, I never sensed frustration from him at all (or any of the other emotions, like disgust, that I have sometimes felt for myself but suspect never even crossed his mind). His example of how to be supportive and nurturing, yet realistic, was a great way for me to learn about how to do it for myself.

I doubt that I'm now completely and forever done with judging myself, but this weekend was a great step towards that!

Internal Goals

I went on a wilderness adventure with my brother this weekend. We went to Linville Gorge Wilderness Area and basically hiked out for a day, camped, and hiked back for a day. It was an incredible experience.

I learned a really important lesson about the value of internal goals versus external goals. What happened was, we found ourselves on a long, sustained, steep, rocky downhill. Part way down (turns out, about 2/3 down maybe) we stopped to take stock of where we were, and how we were feeling. We decided to turn back, knowing that (especially for me) uphill would be even more difficult than downhill. 

We had had something of a goal/idea of making it to Shortoff Mountain, and were something like 2 miles short of that. My true goal though, the root of the Shortoff goal, was to really test the limits of my personal endurance and to find out where my body is in terms of this kind of thing. That goal was met beautifully by this decision to turn back.

I learned that when our goals are internal (ie, based on comparisons only to ourselves and on stretching our selves) they are always achievable. When goals are external (ie, based on a number of miles, a number of minutes, or some other external criteria) it is all too possible to fall short.

I think internal goals are more satisfying and nourishing and gratifying and just all around more real. 

I conquered a couple of fears that I had around spending a night in the wilderness, as well. But looking back I'm wondering if those fears, while they did have some life all of their own, were really a mask. I'm starting to suspect that I was judging myself based on my fitness level and using my overnight fears as a way to try to squirm out of the possibility of doing a full weekend adventure (versus a day trip, which would be, of course, approximately half as taxing!). 

Great Things

Brothers

Wilderness adventures

Raw Revolution bars

 

Pema Chodron

REI

(And may I point out, all their stores' door handles are made of ice axes!)

I Am Not Sick!

Of course, I'm always grateful to be not sick. But this is a particular case.

You see, yesterday I kind of was sick. I woke up coughing a bit, and kind of congested. I was really low energy and blah. I was definitely coming down with a cold.

 

(That's the common cold virus as a plush toy. Cute, right? But I still don't want it hanging out in my body.)

And so, I made a conscious decision that I did not want to be sick. That may sound kind of obvious, but I don't think I've ever done it before. Really, I've often kind of wanted to be sick. It gave me an excuse to have down time and nurture myself, and I think being sick kind of gave me something to do, too. But I'm nurturing myself in healthier ways now (no pun intended!) and I have things going on that I don't want to miss.

So anyway, I set that intention that I did not want to be sick. And then I cancelled some of my plans for the day so that I could get rest. And I consistently (and constantly!) took supplements to support my body in fighting off the invaders.

And today.... I am not sick! This is the first time in my memory that I have conquered a cold before it conquered me!

I'm so proud of my fighter cells, and of myself for supporting them well so that they could do their job well.

 (That's little fighter cells working together to kick an invader's butt!)

Easy Counts Too!

I remember what I wanted to write about! Phew!

I've noticed over the past week or so that I seem to have a belief about things that are easy to do. I think this belief is only about me; in other words, I have a double standard here. But the part I'm exploring now is how it relates to me, at any rate.

At therapy group today, a women told me my hair looks pretty. She always seems to say this on days when all I've done is shower and go, maybe with a quick clip to keep it out of my face.

In the online nutrition course I am doing, I made a post to a forum about my cooking style. Basically I cook very simply, with few ingredients and limited preparation for each dish.

I spoke with some people about taking supplements. They spoke of their struggles with knowing which to take, and why, and when, and how often. I also take supplements, but I go to an excellent naturopathic doctor. She tells me what to take and when and why and what the dosage is. Clearly, I have some say in it all, but I don't have nearly the struggles these other people did. I felt like I was cheating somehow.

In all of these cases, and quite a few others that have come up lately, I felt like I was cheating somehow. I didn't do anything special with my hair, I didn't put in much time or effort, so it wasn't worthy of comment. I don't struggle with or sweat over my cooking, so it's not real cooking.

One way I'm trying to see things now is, I am someone who is very good at living simply and finding ways to maintain and increase that simplicity. I think that's a really good trait to have (even if society doesn't always agree in practice).

I don't feel like I'm missing anything by not preparing complex meals or spending an hour doing my hair. In fact, I rather like the way I'm doing things now. I just sometimes feel like it's not real, or valid, or enough somehow....

Any thoughts? Please share them!

UPDATE:
I just had another thought about this. Maybe the base is how well I am doing mentally/emotionally the past few years. Even though some of my self-work is difficult, it's always fun. Fun in the sense of overall enjoyable and something I want to do, something interesting. So who am I to be getting credit for doing so well, and even to be doing so well, when so many others are working just as hard or harder, and are still stuck in really tough times?

It's not that I don't want to be doing well, or to have nice hair, or to take supplements. It's more, is it OK to be getting compliments and credit and kudos for things that aren't a struggle?

How much of a big deal should be made for something that comes easily?

I Have No Idea

I had a topic I wanted to post about... and I forgot what it was.

So I thought that if I opened the page and started writing it might come to me.

It hasn't yet.

Still don't remember.

Thinking...

OK, yeah, I have no idea what this post was supposed to be about.

Here's a funny cake instead.