I remember what I wanted to write about! Phew!
I've noticed over the past week or so that I seem to have a belief about things that are easy to do. I think this belief is only about me; in other words, I have a double standard here. But the part I'm exploring now is how it relates to me, at any rate.
At therapy group today, a women told me my hair looks pretty. She always seems to say this on days when all I've done is shower and go, maybe with a quick clip to keep it out of my face.
In the online nutrition course I am doing, I made a post to a forum about my cooking style. Basically I cook very simply, with few ingredients and limited preparation for each dish.
I spoke with some people about taking supplements. They spoke of their struggles with knowing which to take, and why, and when, and how often. I also take supplements, but I go to an excellent naturopathic doctor. She tells me what to take and when and why and what the dosage is. Clearly, I have some say in it all, but I don't have nearly the struggles these other people did. I felt like I was cheating somehow.
In all of these cases, and quite a few others that have come up lately, I felt like I was cheating somehow. I didn't do anything special with my hair, I didn't put in much time or effort, so it wasn't worthy of comment. I don't struggle with or sweat over my cooking, so it's not real cooking.
One way I'm trying to see things now is, I am someone who is very good at living simply and finding ways to maintain and increase that simplicity. I think that's a really good trait to have (even if society doesn't always agree in practice).
I don't feel like I'm missing anything by not preparing complex meals or spending an hour doing my hair. In fact, I rather like the way I'm doing things now. I just sometimes feel like it's not real, or valid, or enough somehow....
Any thoughts? Please share them!
UPDATE:
I just had another thought about this. Maybe the base is how well I am doing mentally/emotionally the past few years. Even though some of my self-work is difficult, it's always fun. Fun in the sense of overall enjoyable and something I want to do, something interesting. So who am I to be getting credit for doing so well, and even to be doing so well, when so many others are working just as hard or harder, and are still stuck in really tough times?
It's not that I don't want to be doing well, or to have nice hair, or to take supplements. It's more, is it OK to be getting compliments and credit and kudos for things that aren't a struggle?
How much of a big deal should be made for something that comes easily?
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5 comments:
I've been reading and re-reading this, trying to make my brain work enough to respond helpfully. I've given up on that, though, so I'm just going to say that although I can relate...
I think that you're not cheating any more than it's cheating for someone who is good at maths to do something mathsy, or that someone who naturally has good skin is cheating compared to someone like me!
I had more I wanted to add, but I can't articulate it properly. I might come back another time though.
It's not the doing it that seems cheatful, it's the getting credit for it that does, somehow
Okay... so WHAT is credit then? What does it really take for someone to give credit? Nothing! A simple small effort of recognition -- a genesis of a potential infusion of energy that takes practically no energy to create .. the sole purpose of which (in grand scheme; not necessarily human intent) is to help you keep moving forward healthily. Giving credit is so easy--it doesn't hurt the giver--and yet it can make a difference for the receiver.
Oh. Wow. What a really excellent point, Ry, excellently made. In fact, it probably helps the giver of the credit, too, to pass on positive energy.
Wow. OK. Maybe credit is just another way that we pass good feelings around, and it benefits everyone. So really it's kind of selfish of me to not be willing to accept it, because I am depriving people that little burst of positive.
Nice. Thank you.
"Maybe credit is just another way that we pass good feelings around, and it benefits everyone. So really it's kind of selfish of me to not be willing to accept it, because I am depriving people that little burst of positive."
I like that!
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