I'm frustrated.
I've got this set of things I need to do to feel my best, or at least to work toward feeling my best. I really do need at least 8 or 9 hours of sleep. I need to eat every 2 to 3 hours. I need plenty of downtime and alone time.
Sometimes this conflicts directly with what I want to do. Like tonight, for example. I have the opportunity to see a friend that is visiting from New Zealand for who knows how long. I saw her twice already, but still, she's an amazing woman and I'm feeling greedy about wanting to spend time with. Instead of having dinner with her and my family, though, I'm staying at home having downtime and alone time. Which ultimately is better for me; though I see both companionship/love and downtime as needs of mine, downtime is kinda a more basic need I think. Especially when I was with people for 8 hours straight yesterday (that's kind of a long time for me even without the medical issues I'm having lately).
But I'm not happy about it. I wanna be down the street being with people I love.
Any ideas about how to find peace, or even happiness, with choosing to take care of my more-basic needs?
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3 comments:
I can empathize with you on this, and I think it's important to do what you need to do without feeling guilty. You probably didn't get as much out of your alone time because you felt like you really should have been with your friend. If we give ourselves a break the same way we'd understand if a friend said they needed time alone, we'd be more at peace with ourselves. I think sometimes we're too hard on ourselves, so don't feel bad about being kind to yourself!
yeah, i tend to be kinda hypocritical about stuff like that. i have a total double standard about what i would expect from a friend and what i expect from myself. i'm much much more harsh on myself.
So am i, so am i.
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