tired ninjas

always busy and tired. too tired for a real update. will come soon. meanwhile, ninja pictures are very entertaining.

Work!

How much do I love my job!
I just love working with the kids I do... every single one of them is the best kid in the world. Yes, yes, I know, the math doesn't work out, but it's true anyway!
I know how lucky I am to look forward to going to do my job every day. And I'm so so thankful.

I Think I'm A Housewife

My roommate has been ill (and when he gets ill, its no joke, he has some conditions that make things very rough and very touchy), but seriously, check out my day.
Woke up, made breakfast for three, including the cat (though his just consists of opening a can).
Showered
Checked email
Checked to-do list
Went to a dr appointment
Stopped at the store on the way home for groceries
Put groceries away
Switched laundry (mine and roommate's)
Folded and put away roommate's laundry
Made lunch for two (me and the cat, the roommate was asleep)
Went to a training at work
Called on the way home to make sure there's nothing else we need while I'm out
As a result, stopped off at Blockbuster
Got home and did some businessy stuff
Made dinner for three
Watched some mind-numbing TV
Got into bed, realized I'm a housewife without the wife part, and had to share with you all.

Yes, Mom, I will take apartment pictures soon and put them on Flickr!

Asheville

Wow. So here I am back in NC.

I have a very cool apartment, 2 bedroom 2 bath, that I share with a very cool roommate and the coolest cat in the world. Just yesterday I got my room completely set up, and the living room mostly set up. I still seriously need to take out some trash, but its coming along nicely. Its a little weird because we are using all my roommate's furniture and such. All of my things were sold to finance the move from Massachusetts. In all fairness, his stuff is much nicer (we have a huge TV, not sure if I like it or not all in all, heh). It's starting to feel like home though.

I start a very cool job tomorrow. I'm a Community Skills Instructor with the Autism Society of North Carolina. I get to do one on one stuff with autistic kids, working on their speech, occupational, physical, and social goals. Most of this is done in the community... so like, I will take a kid to the grocery store to work on being in public and waiting in line. That kind of thing.
I have one morning kid, 9-12. I will actually be her personal aide in her preschool classroom, which is something I always wanted to try but never got to. Then, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will hang out with a middle school aged boy from 2:30 to 6:30, and Tuesday and Thursdays I get to be with an elementary school aged girl from 2 to 5. I like that long lunch break thing in the middle of the day there. My house in on the way from the morning kid to the afternoon ones, so I will stop at home and have a good lunch and relax for awhile on most days. I like having a good age mix of kids so I can try out different approaches to things. My supervisor is very flexible, relaxed, and open. I think it'll all work out just really well.

Hmm, what else... found some cool places to hang out, both in town (a really nice Irish pub kind of place is among my favorites, but just walking around downtown is fun here; its so diverse!) and in the mountains (there's a park on the French Broad River about 15 minutes from my house; I plan to take the cat out there soon, on a leash of course, to see what he thinks of nature). I've been to a Baha'i devotional gathering (its more of a class, not what I'm looking for but I will go occasionally for the socialness of it) and to a Feast (which was very nice to be at, though I miss Charlotte's more open devotions). Made contact with a few people who seem like they could be friends, given time.

So all in all its slow, but going. I'd rather slow and steady and continual than fast and easy to lose!

Gossip

Gossip is pretty much the worst thing we can do. Ever. To anyone.

It destroys trust: if I talk about someone when they aren't there, how do I know you don't talk about me when I'm not there?

People judge each other: no matter how perfect we try to be, everyone judges things. Gossip is how we point out our judgments to each other and make them seem ok. So I hear a bit of gossip, say that Mary eats 3 donuts before bed every night. I judge that as unhealthy and a lack of self discipline. When I pass on the gossip, I pass on my judgment with it. So now people see Mary as unhealthy and undisciplined. That grows and grows and soon there is no one who doesn't judge Mary. It grows and becomes bigger and uglier and sadly, more fascinating to most people. Look at how it happens with celebrities: paparazzi stuff is basically just gossip with shiny pictures thrown in to make it even more irresistible. That stuff can ruin not just careers but lives. The same thing happens with regular gossip, the kind without glossy photos, the kind that takes place around a water cooler or during late night chats.

This isn't coming out right... I'll try again later. For now, just know that gossip is the most hurtful thing we can do to each other.

You Are Your Own Best Expert

I think that's just so important. Maybe THE most important thing, aside from not gossiping. Its also one of the hardest things, I think. Humans like control. We like to think we know what's best when for whom. He's drinking too much, he must stop. She doesn't wear the right clothes, I know what she should wear. They don't have the right philosophies, I know what they should believe. It makes things more comfortable to believe you know things for others; you feel in control and safe. Really though, we have no idea what's right for other people. Only they do. Maybe he drinks because its the only time he can relax, maybe she's comfortable in what she wears, maybe their philosophies work for them in ways we don't understand. The feeling out of control can be hard though. When I (I know, my pronoun use is inconsistent here) trust my friend to be his own best expert, I give up control. I can be supportive. I can be with him quietly in his process. I can be active when he asks me to be... but I am not in control of anything. When we see people we love hurting, this can be really hard. Our (or maybe just my?) first thought is generally to fix it, to get rid of the pain at whatever cost. But that's cheating our loved ones of the experience they need. The Universe/God is setting up for them what they need in order for them to become who they are meant to be. Every moment is perfect. Every moment is what's meant to be. Realizing this... remembering this in the face of great pain... is what makes it possible to relax and truly be there for someone.

...but its really hard sometimes...