Yesterday I had a great day. I ate well, exercised well, and got a lot done. But then I didn't know how to stop. It was about bedtime but I just kept on getting stuff done, I didn't know how to wind down. Eventually I resorted to the not-too-healthy method of eating comfort foods and got to sleep. Then this morning I had to cancel an appointment with my brother that I was really looking forward to, because I had a migraine all night. It was a sinus-based migraine, which I know is usually brought on by gluten, sugar, and dairy for me (ie, candida and allergies).
So a while ago I realized, I think I'm afraid of having new problems to tackle. I know how to be depressed and unhealthy and unproductive; these are problems I already know how to live with. I'm afraid of the new and unforeseen problems, like how to wind down, that will crop up if I embark on a new and healthy life. I'm afraid of having to find new ways of dealing with new issues.
But then a few minutes ago I realized... well, if I'm gonna have problems no matter what I do, won't it kind of be fun to at least have new issues to think about and work out? At least it'll be a change in the routine.
So that's me, one step closer to healthy. I think. Heh.
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