OK, so today I started a DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) group. If you're not sure what that is, go ahead and google it. My purpose in this post isn't really all that specific to DBT itself.
I have learned two important things about myself form DBT so far, neither particularly having to do with DBT.
One is, my brain is undeniably abnormal. Example: someone in the group asked me if I was a pretty cut-and-dried person. My answer was "nah, I live in a pretty technicolor world." And the rest of the group just kinda looked at me. Blankly. Eventually I got that they didn't get it, so I explained about how really I felt the essence of her question was "are you a black and white thinker" and so I answered that question. My brain just makes different leaps than other people's. Or maybe everyone's does, but I give voice to mine. Also, i challenged that idea that guilt needs to exist. Not the idea that it does exist; clearly it's a real emotion. I challenged the idea that it's necessary.
The other thing I learned is... well, I guess it's not really a learning. Its just putting words to something I already knew. See, people see my intellect and think "dang, she is one rational, intellectual, logical person." Which is true. But as strong as my intellect is, my emotional side is equally strong. It is not dwarfed my my intellect. I think I get judged as a pretty concrete, cut-and-dried, non-technicolor person a fair bit because people see intellect and think "aha, I understand you." People, it is possible to be gifted in both areas. Thank you and goodnight.
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3 comments:
I'm not sure if I understand your post, to be honest. But if what I took from it is correct, then what I want to say is, good for you for being multidimensional. I don't know if you felt boxed in at all in your DBT session. I often did in mine; it felt as though nearly all of my words and actions were understood and categorized before I spoke or did them. I have always been impressed with you for being true to yourself, and I have no doubt that you will remain that way in addition to, (or in spite of?) whatever you bring away from DBT.
i kinda feel like the purpose of dbt is boxes. it gives you nice little boxes for how to handle things that feel too big and messy to be handled at all.
which i don't really agree with as a way of life, but as an emergency coping mechanism seems like it could be helpful.
Hm. Hm. I guess I have always considered boxes to be very, very uncomfortable places, and it made me angry when I was asked to put my emotions in them -- though I did (and still do) find the exercises useful. I had not thought about boxes as safe places before. How interesting.
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