Percolating: Pain and the Pheminine

(Sorry about the title, had to go for the alliteration)
Been a while since I wrote anything much on here, huh. I guess I've been in a percolating, consolidating sort of phase.

Remember over the summer when I had that crazy abdominal pain that never really got figured out? It came back, sometime around the middle of November. I've seen specialists again, had scans again, but no one can figure anything out, again. Currently I'm actively seeing a naturopath and an acupuncturist, and I have an appointment on January 10 to see an internist/hepatologist. Nothing seems to really be helping much. The pain is pretty constant, but not very intense. I'd say it hovers around a 3 on the 1-10 pain scale, give or take a point or two in either direction at any given time. More activity yields more pain, so I haven't been doing a whole lot, but I can get errands done, went to have dinner with my brother's family a few days ago, I do short walks around the block and all... I just try not to do too much (which is a kind of fluid goal).

Another thing I'm doing is working the psychological angle. I looked up lower abdomen/uterine pain (I'm pretty convinced it's either uterine or bladder, based on where the pain is, and the acupuncturist agrees) in Louse L. Hayes' book. She has a huge compilation of affirmations she recommends for all kinds of physical and mental ailments. The one I found was something about "I embrace my feminine energy." I thought "well cool, I can do... uhm... what exactly is feminine energy....?" So now I've embarked on a huge, three-pronged research mission; 1. defining feminine/female energy, 2. examining the feminine in history, and 3. look at how the feminine is expressed in current cultures (and of course, how does all of this relate to me). Along the way I'm doing a lot of reading, a lot of talking (especially but not strictly with women), and a lot of thinking. I feel like it's actually helpful to my physical pain levels when I am actively engaged in this project; maybe that's placebo and maybe not, but either way I'll take it. I'll also take any comments or thoughts or ideas anyone has!

I was watching this video on youtube today of a flash mob at Occupy San Francisco/Oakland. One cool thing was, it reminded me very much of Baha'i Youth Workshop dances from back in the day. But another thing that really struck me was a brief shot of a woman with the words "choose your story" written on tape across her shirt. What a powerful idea; the fact that we get to choose what we want our story to be, and then act it out....