Monday, July 25, 2011

It's Easier To See Light In The Dark

This is a small bit from William Blake's Auguries of Innocence. 
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born,
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.

Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.

We are led to believe a lie
When we see not thro' the eye,
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.

God appears, and God is light,
To those poor souls who dwell in night;
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Responsibility, Not Blame.

"Taking control of your life should not mean that you are on your own.  It means that you face yourself and your choices with honesty, changing what you can and allowing yourself to ask for help where you need it."

That quote is from this blog, from which I have never read anything else but this one post.

I really like this one post though; responsibility without blame is a key concept for me, and one I am constantly refining.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


I was just reading a little description-blurb about a documentary, and this is what it said: "In some religions, devotion is measured by physical suffering and self-inflicted pain."

That phrase "self-inflicted pain" struck a chord with me, as you might imagine.

And I had this kind of weird idea; what if my scars from "self-inflicted pain" are a kind of devotion to myself? I mean... clearly not healthy, not what I want. But all that aside... I feel like my scars are a sign of devotion to myself. A sign that I struggled but still remained alive and did whatever I could think of, even if it didn't seem to make sense, to stay that way.

In a way, I'm proud of them, because they represent my devotion to my self, and to my life.

Fortunately, Unfortunately

Did you ever play that game as a kid, "Fortunately and Unfortunately?" A group takes turns telling a story, but after the initial sentence each person starts, alternating, with the word "fortunately" or "unfortunately."

So here is today's story:

Once I went to a follow up doctor's visit.

Unfortunately, he scheduled an exploratory surgery for Monday.

Fortunately, I don't have to stay in the hospital until then.

Unfortunately, when I got home I locked my keys (and my phone) in my car.

Fortunately, I had passed a police car not far from my house

Unfortunately, when I walked down the street and asked the officer for help, he told me they aren't allowed to open people's cars any more.

Fortunately, I have AAA and he was able to call them for me.

Unfortunately, I sat on an anthill while I was waiting for AAA.

Fortunately, I am now in my house and doing OK (aside from the pain and nausea and fatigue I've had for the past few weeks anyway).

(Also, are you supposed to tip tow truck guys? 'Cause if so.. sorry, AAA tow truck guy who opened my car for me. I didn't have any cash, anyway.)

"I Love the Dark Hours of My Being"

I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can find, as in old letters,
...the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots

a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs.

--Ranier Maria Rilke