...and invite them in.

The Guest House 

by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Thou Art

Thou Art

12:40am, 14 December 2012, upon watching the Geminid meteor shower

Shivering

Gazing up

Searching

I see that

Thou art

Thou art

Oh, Thou very art!

Thou art that Thou art.

And why not?

What other reason should there be?

Splendor, glory, beauty, grandeur, light, mercy...

What other why need be fulfilled?

Shivering

Gazing in

Searching

I see that

I am

I am

Oh, would that I am!

I am that I am.

And why not?

What other reason should there be?

Noble, imperishable, hidden, treasured, rebellious, awe-struck...

What other why need be fulfilled?

Special

I have this weird idea that "not unique" means "not challenging."

I shared this thing in my therapy group today that to me feels very big and bad and I have shame around. And someone said (totally from a good place, my reaction is all me) that it didn't seem that different than an activity that a lot of normal people do very regularly and is not at all seen as unusual.

What I heard was "this is just your slightly different way of expressing this common human trait." Which is probably fairly close to what he was trying to say. But then I continued to extrapolate to "therefore, shut up and get over it, everyone deals with this. You wuss."

I've just come from group, and I'm still processing. A lot. A lot of processing. About a lot of stuff. But I wanted to get this thought written before I lose it.

I am both more and less special than I think I am.