Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I have a problem with using that word sometimes. Especially when there's not a "reason" to back it up. For example:
"Wanna go out for breakfast?"
"No thanks."
That is uncomfortable to me. Whereas
"Wanna go out for breakfast?"
"Aw, I have a doctor's appointment, I can't."
feels ok. There's a reason beyond "eh, just don't want to." I want to get to a place where how I feel is reason enough to do and not do things. Not how I feel like, am I sick. Just, if I'm interested in doing sometime. Maybe I wanna just stay home and read. Or not have to get dressed. Or whatever. While I do say no for this reason sometimes, without an "excuse," I feel uncomfortable when I do. Like I "should" be doing things...
This applies for nearly every kind of activity. Religious gatherings, family gatherings, purely social events... everything. I have this issue in every arena.
Why aren't my wants a good enough reason, in my head, to do or not do things? An issue to re-visit. Right now, I don't feel like looking deeper. 

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