Sunday, February 28, 2010

Oh, I Dunno

Haven't really been in a bloggy mood lately.
Ayyam-i-ha has been awesome. I had a family brunch party, a community dinner party, and another small family dinner party. Its been really nice going to some parties (there were two others I was invited to) and declining some invitations to maintain my personal time balance. I think I hit a pretty good mix.
I'm looking forward to the Fast. I have some ideas in mind for things I want to do and think about during this time, but the thing I'm actually giving up for the Fast (since medically, I cannot fast) is a chat I am in for several hours a day. I realize that for some people this sounds silly, but for me it is sacrificial to give up and takes a lot of time from my day.
I dunno. Like I said, not really in a bloggy mood.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

What I Do All Day

(This was written 19 February 2010, but I was internet-less at the time.)

People ask me what I do all day.
For a while I just kinda smiled and shrugged. Then I got annoyed with the questions (and myself) and started saying things like "I eat bon-bons and watch TV" (note: I don't even own a TV).
Here is what I really do:
I work on climbing out of the dark hole I lived in for most of my conscious life. An yeah, it's been a long comb. In fact, today marks exactly 9 years of climbing. It was a deep hole: almost exactly six feet under, to be honest. I'm climbing in a safe way, and sometimes that's slow. I make sure my handhold is secure before I search out my next toe-hold. I take breaks when I need to. I resist the occasional urge to make a mad scramble.
So that's what I do all day. I'm figuring out how to live in the best way I can, because when a lot of people were figuring that out, I was doing my best to avoid life. And yeah, nine years is a long time. Actually, though, I predict the process will last, in some form, the rest of my life.
I'm not hurting anyone. In fact, I'm bettering at least one person. So please. Ask what I do out of curiosity, not out of judgement. Or, just don't ask at all.